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 Blogtastic
June 18, 2008
Canadians seemed a little sensitive about their stand up. I do bits based on places and people. I do French stuff to French people. I’m not going to talk behind their backs. So i do it well lit and amplified.
They judge it like it’s some sort of comedy manifesto. It’s just my thoughts as I try not to think about them. Hindsite is the enemy of spontaneity. It’s for critics, which anyone respirating (or not) is qualified to be. Bloggers can be agoraphobic social misfits that sit in a comfort zone and spew. Comics don’t have that luxury. When’s the last time a blogger had to deal with (demo heckler) “Hey, lay off the French jokes.” A blogger’s worst day is when he gets lotion on his mouse.
Even free expression comes at a price. It’s all fun and games until I start talking about you. People are circumstantially concerned. If it’s about someone else it’s free expression; if it’s about them, then it’s not politically correct.
Politically correct is another way of saying: Agree with me or suffer.
I’m having trouble with fat people who have body art. Before you get creative with body art maybe think about cleaning up your canvas.If your tattoo artist has to go through a chowdery obstacle course just to put a flower on your ankle, it’s time for some crunches. And I don’t mean Cheetos.
I know I shouldn’t be bothered by these things but I am. I’m not proud. Women with noisy heals have been making me crazy. I know there’s bigger issues in the world, but not to me. I’m on a date with what sounds like a Clydesdale. If she was pulling a wagon of beer I could overlook the noise.
Toronto and Royal Oak were cool. Lots of love from the C.F. (Craig Ferguson) fans. Craig and I are looking forward to a week at the MGM in Vegas. We’ll leave CBS and get on a helicopter to the airport everyday. Very James Bondish. If James Bond said “puddin” and made fart noises.
I want to thank everyone who bought my CD and laughed at my jokes. CU on the road.
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