Then virtual union dudes started asking me about striking out front of CBS. Wait. I'm supposed to stand out front of the best job I've had in a while and scream "down with you?" My situation is unique. A friend got me my job. That is a real friend. Now because of the strike, my friend is now "The Man." It's obvious the execu-fucks are trying to stick it to the writers. But I'm a stand up with a writing job. Stand ups don't even have a union. No health care. Plenty of comedians would still be alive today if we had a decent union. I tend to stand behind Artists over Suits. Artists can be selfish pricks but they generally don't spill toxic spoodge in rivers.

I've participated in several of the protests in Hollywood. I figure they need warm bodies to show solidarity. I have been going to CBS Radford which is close to my home and not the exact offices I work at. It's kind of boring. Just walking in circles with a red shirt on. It's like we did something wrong and we're punishing ourselves.

Between being a dad and gigging on the road, it's hard to find too much extra time for "the cause". Austin and Phoenix were fun as hell. Craig and I both did well. Then I stuck around Cave Creek for a few days with my puddin' and had Thanksgiving in the Sonoran. Spell check always tries to add a g onto the word "puddin'". It's one of the hazards I live with every day.

We're off to Atlanta this weekend. I think Craig is already sold out there. I really dig these theatre gigs. Opening for C.F. on the road is a sweet gig. Like my friend, Don Handfield, always says, it's all about faith and gratitude. (And puddin'.)

I think I whined about my divorce in the last blog. I get to see my daughter a lot but it's never enough. I was spared a court room battle by our lawyers negotiating in the court cafeteria while I talked to my ex. We kept switching tables, till we came to an "understanding."

The east coast leg of the Craig Ferguson Tour du Jour was amazing. D.C. was a fancy pants theatre and a fancy pants hotel. Craig also put me up at the Four Seasons in Manhattan. I walked in and tried to close the drapes. I nearly tore them off the ceiling. Kept wondering how many seasons does it take to get drapes that close? The front desk told me there was a button next to the bed. Who's ever heard of auto drapes? It was fun. I pressed the button half the night. There was a plasma tv in the bathroom. I ate a lot so I could keep using it.

The crowds were great everywhere. Greensberg and D.C. were extra cool. We were in Soprano's-ville at the Count Basie Theatre in Jersey. Great staff. Craig and I had a Tommy Boy type trip from Greensburg to D.C. In the bathroom at the diner we had breakfast in, there was a condom dispenser that had French Ticklers. But the word French was crossed off and someone put the word "Freedom". Freedom Ticklers. It was very funny at the time. I'm not thrilled about the French, but let them have their ticklers.

I got some angry email from a lesbian. That's always nice. And Craig told me that I will be doing more in his comedy empire. It's very exciting. He told me early in the tour, so I was in an especially good mood. I'll give more details when I can. C.F. also got me into the Montreal Comedy Festival. It was in between East Coast dates. It was one night and two sets. It was short but sweet (not butt sweet). I'm hoping to do more sets there next year. I thought Montreal was beautiful and the stage time a blast. The hot and cold running chicks didn't hurt either.

I'm just being a dad till the 14th when I'm with Craig at Cobbs in San Francisco. Great city. Homos and hills, what else does anyone need?

It's hot and humid in LA. There's an ecosystem forming in my underpants. I'm starting a new band called Butt Sweat and Tears. It's my blog and I'll blog what I want. I can't wait for hoop season to start. I'm trying to get interested in the Yankee Angel match up. Not easy. I'd rather listen to two homeless dudes talking about the Lakers.

Talk to you soon.

r

I love the Virginia Beach Funnybone. Had a crazy fun time. The shows were wonderous and weird. Now the expression “chocolate juice” is sweeping the nation. What’s up MySpacers? I really dig MySpace. Helps The Kagan Comedy Community stay together. I went to my first jello wrestling contest. Some of
these girls had Adams apples. Not so sexy. We kept to the theme by doing jello shooters. I was glad they weren’t wrestling in tapioca, those would
have been some nasty shooters.

I’m heading to West Virginia for The Funny Bone. Lot’s of trees. You know how I feel about trees. I’m not a tree hugger, I’m no tease, If I’m going to hug a tree I’m going to finish a tree. I’m a tree fucker.

I did The Late Late Show with Craig. Nice gig. I wish I could do that every night. I am going to try and squeak another set out of Craig. I don’t want to take advantage of his good nature, but I think I will try anyway. Craig's good people. I’m opening for him again in Vegas at The Orleans November 17 - 19.

If you can bug the hell out of your local comedy clubs to book me, that would help my grassroots movement. I shall blog again soon. Adios.

randitos

And now random thoughts:

My favorite new show is the crime tip hotline. It's on late at night. They run photos of local felons while pleasant piano jazz plays in the background.

Wearing your baseball hat backwards doesn't make you black; it makes you look like a white guy walking the wrong way.

Kobe should get MVP.

HD, Hi resolution, plasma flat screens. Televisions have gotten better, but television hasn't.

Shaq's favorite hobbies are Twinkie eating and speaking at a level only elephants can understand.

End of random thoughts. Beginning of regular thoughts.

I'm busting out to headline the Irvine Improv tomorrow night for one special engagement show; a.k.a. still trying to get a full week. It's one of my favorite rooms. The only down side is the vulgar display of traffic on the way down. It's cruel and inhumane. But it gives me time to catch up on my swearing at the guy in front of me.

I'm hunkered down in LA till March unless otherwise notified. My turf is the Hollywood Improv. It's the comedy convergence. We all hang there. Though I like The Comedy Store a lot, there's no place to hang. No food. The Improv has good food. Is this boring? I guess if you made it this far you could make it a little farther.

We should have some video up on this site shortly … please check back.

Email me (randy@RandyKagan.com) and tell me what's up in your worlds. I hope all is well.

Adios,

randitos

November 16 '05
I just finished a week featuring for Dennis Miller at the Irvine Improv. He was practicing his next HBO special. It was epic. His act was poignant, relevant, brave and hilarious. I laughed my balls off. Hasn’t been since I rolled with Hedberg that I watched someone who made me feel like I need to hit the notebook hard. Dennis is a true voice in what can be mostly voiceless biz. He puts it all out there. And he always seals it with funny. I was very happy to have seen him so many shows in a row. And man-to-man, DM was cool, kind and fucking genius. He is a great hang. I sold lots of cd’s and met lots of crazy / cool Miller fans. Thanks to everyone who bought my cd. It all helps.

I did Harrahs in Vegas. There was a conservation notice on my toilet and the Mirage fountain out my window. It was a bit of a mixed message. My toilet was a water conservation model. What it lacked in actual water it made up in suction. It makes a noise like someone stepped on a land mine. I lost a testicle. Which means water is somehow more important than my huevos. There was also a note asking me to turn off the lights so I could conserve energy in Vegas.

Quick thanks to West Palm Improv and Pablitos for a fun ass week on the peninsula. They sent me a limo to the Hardrock Improv in Hollywood Fl. Crowds were amazing. Daddy likes! Featuring for Pablo is what we call in the biz“a sweet gig.” And watching Pablo live makes my stomach hurt. Good luck not laughing at his act. It’s Fast and Furious. I will try to blog more often. Adios. randitos.

August 1 '05
I sat in the Cold Stone Creamatorium across from Zanies in Chicago, reading the article in Entertainment "Weakly" about Mitch Hedberg. It took me awhile to get through it all. I kept moving, thinking I'd weep less if I read it in different spots. I felt the sinking realization once again that he is really gone. Then the disgust of the bait and switch this little douche bag "writer" did on all of us set in. If we knew about the Cobain agenda, we would have run like hell. He managed to piss on two immense legacies in one lame title. All that before the first word of the article was read. He was a fag bag toting New York punk ass who fit the "facts" into his Cobain predetermined angle. It was very People magazine to call any long hair Kurt Cobain.

Quick fact: Cobain put a shot gun in his mouth and blew his head off. Mitch's life was taken from him, God's will if I may be so bold. Here's what i think was good about the article: It devoted a lot of space to Mitch's material and how to find his CD's, DVD's, etc. All he wanted was people to hear his jokes. And they didn't misquote me. I'm not sure about anyone else they interviewed. There is another one coming out in Spin next month. It can't be any worse.

Man Cow was insane. There was a co-host, a 21 year old virgin who wrote a book on porno, the entire crew, including little freak and Big Gooney. And to top it all off, are you sitting? Molly Hatchet was there. That's right The Hatch dudes! It was insane. There may have been the smell of some sort of plant floating around. It was surreal.

Pheasant Hill was a great room. Though if I'm being honest, I miss Hedberg crowds. There was nothing like a Hedberg show. The King is gone, but not forgotten.

I got back on Monday and on Thursday I had a meeting / audition in San Francisco with a new network called Current. It was for a show called Google Current. I would write my own material about topics being Googled around the world. Then bust it out on green screen. The network has a real exciting vibe. I would have to move to SF or I guess you could say I would get to move. It's a great city and a great gig. I should find out more next week. There are two other hosts who are very good already doing the job. They want some one to bring the funny. Either way I had a great time in SF. They put me up for the night. It was a blast. The network starts on the 1st of August, so I figure I should hear soon. We'll see. "Piece" out!

June 14 '05
Thanks to everyone who came out to Zanies in Chicago. It means a lot to me. That room has quickly become my favorite. The staff, the management and the crowds were all amazing. The last time I was there was with Mitch (Hedberg). It's hard to go back with so many memories of him everywhere. But I need to get used to it. Zanies always loved Mitch and Mitch always loved Zanies. Especially the Downtown room. The waitresses were incredibly cool to me. We all miss him.

The night before I left for Chicago, I did an interview with Entertainment Weekly about Mitch. I wasn't going to do it at first, just because I am suspicious of the media. And his legacy is extremely important to me. But a close friend of mine (Greg) convinced me to do it. He said I might regret not doing it years from now. But there are lots of ways to set the record straight about his life without a third party interpretation: a book, movie, etc. It's the rumors and crap that drive me crazy. I can handle what anyone says about me, I just get very sensitive about his legacy. It's all I (we) have left.

That's why I was a bit nervous about doing The Mancow Show in Chicago. Last time I was on his show was with Mitch. Mancow was fucking with me about being Mitch's yes man and or butt boy. I really didn't mind. I thought it was funny. But Mitch was always very protective. He resented the way Mancow treated me. He wanted to leave in the middle of the show. Eventually Mancow figured out that I was actually funny, then everything was cool. But Mitch never really liked him. He really only felt comfortable on the Stern show. Howard seemed to respect him. So when I got to Mancow without Mitch, it felt weird. But he was surprisingly cool about Mitch. Off mic he told me he was sorry for my loss. I really respect Mancow. He's great at what he does and he looks you in the eye when you talk to him. He seemed shocked when I told him that Mitch didn't like him. But it was the truth. Mancow is going to put me back on in a few weeks when I'm doing Zanies in St. Charles, Illinois. That makes my life easier. So thank you Mancow!

Tommorow Spin magazine will do a phone interview with me about Mitch. I am a little suspicious because I heard someone from that magazine was calling clubs asking about Mitch. Asking about "warning signs" anyone may have noticed. HE DIED OF A FUCKING HEART ATTACK! Unless he had a plexiglass sternum, there could be no signs. Mitch was unapologetic about who he was and what he did. He was beautifully unashamed. There is nothing I experienced with Mitch that I couldn't tell anyone about. It was an honor and a privilege to have been his friend. I miss him like crazy!!!!

I'm sorry I don't answer each email personally. Please know that your words have helped me through this tough time. Mitch fans, like Mitch himself, will always have a place in my heart. Sounds corny, but it's true. I'll see you guys in St. Charles soon. Chicago rocks! The Wells Street Fair was amazing. Thanks for all the support.

Peace out,

Randy

He was just here. He was always here. Mitch was a huge part of my day-to-day existence. How could he be lifeless? He was life. All I tried to do was be "strong" for the love of Lynn, the love of Mitch's life. But curling into a ball and crying until I ran out of fluids seemed to be all I could do.

I'm not sure how I got on a plane at 7am headed for Baltimore. It's all a blur. I know I wore dark sunglasses and cried in front of strangers at the airport. I still can't bear to think of the sickening finality of his death. He was precious to me. I was flooded with calls from everyone. Dozens and dozens of phone calls. Some sweet people saying they were sorry for my loss. Others who wanted to satisfy their morbid curiosity about the details of his passing. I said, " it doesn't matter if he was struck by lightning, a very special friend is gone."

If you want details, think about how he lived. Like a joyous traveling circus of love. Rolling with Mitch was fucking magical. That is a FACT! The high-water mark in my life as a stand-up. His smile could light up a city block. He was never crass, bitter, or cynical. A person who owned the moment. No one I have ever meant was so damn in the moment as Mitch. That is a FACT! I'm barely comfortable in my own skin, but I felt at peace around Mitch.

Doing the last of Mitch's dates at the Baltimore Improv and the Virginia Beach Funnybone were the hardest things I've ever done. It was intense and emotional. Thank you to every one of his fans who showed their love and support. You people are such an extension of him, you may not even realize. But I do. He loved you. You gave him the freedom to be uncompromising. He was always 100 percent Mitch. And he demanded that I was 100 percent Randy Kagan. Sitting in the green room at the Baltimore Improv without Mitch and Lynn was immensely difficult. We always lit candles, ordered Grey Goose greyhounds and just hung. His fan base was huge, but on the road, it was mostly just us.

I know what Mitch would have wanted. He wouldn't want someone he didn't know, to do his last dates. Half way into the first week, I thought I made a big mistake, that it was too soon. Maybe it was. I don't know. The mourning process is long and complicated. But one thing i know is what Mitch thought and felt … he would want me to go on. I don't have the luxury of being just a fan. I still can't even look at his picture (there is one in every decent comedy club on earth) without welling up.

Thanks to the crew at the Virginia Beach Funnybone for being so cool to me. When Mitch was around we would have fun, laugh, hang with the wait staff, it was raucous. But in Baltimore and VB, I was sort of catatonic. Just sat by myself. I wanted to say more about Mitch on stage, but I didn't want to cry. That was my only goal, don't weep onstage. I only did once at the end in VB. That was the last gathering of Hedberg fans. It was too much to deal with. The energy his shows had, the people, the love, it's all gone now. There was nothing like a Hedberg show. And there never will be. I will get on with my life, but there will be a transition period. My schedule was his schedule. I'll need to regroup and figure out what to do. He took care of me. I'm sorry about still being so upset, but I am. His life was like a snowball and so is the grief of his loss. Sometimes it feels like it keeps getting bigger.

We'll see how the business of comedy is going to treat me without Mitch. It all remains to be seen. But it is a business. No one understood that more than Mitch.

Thank you to all the people who sent me email. I do read all of them. It just took me awhile till I felt ready. You people are amazing. Your heartfelt words meant more than I can describe. You showed more love and respect than most people in my day-to-day life. Once again, all roads lead to Mitch. He attracted highly evolved, smart, sensitive people who didn't swallow the status quo so easily. Thank you so much for your heartfelt words. Be proud of having been Hedberg fans. You were lucky. And you made him very happy. I hope to see you some time, somewhere. Stay well.

I was actually concerned about how my West Coast attitude would go over in the Midwest. I generally choke on so much red tape just trying to get a booking that I lose motivation and just say "Fuck it!" But Mitch slices through all the bullshit for me.

Rolling with Hedberg is truly a unique experience. Clubs obviously bend over backwards (and forward) for him. As they should. He has the balls -- and the massive amount of talent -- to not worry if I kill in front of him. As a guy who gets standing ovations more often than not, Mitch's crowds have plenty of love to go around. Every club on his (our) tour is one I've never been to before. It's very cool.

We stayed at the Marriot at the River Center. Since we didn't look like the usually execu-fucks that normally stay there, they treated us like carnies. Everyone gave us bad cheese looks and the GM actually knocked on my DO NOT DISTURB door at 8am to bitch about something that I still don't understand. We can't stand when they treat us like children. Sometimes it feels like the entire world works in cubicles for some corporate entity. It's really annoying.

But in spite of that, The Funnybone staff was amazing from top to bottom; extremely cool people. The head dude was not a dude at all but a very nice and, may I say, very cute girl named Tina. Not the usual club GM. She was great. The food was great and all the local comics I hung with were equally cool. And I had my first White Castle experience at 3am on the last night. The fries were ice cold and too salty, but the burgers were good. Nice and small. I felt like a giant.

I will be meeting up Mitch and Lynn in Chicago in two more days. I've never done stand up in the Windy City. I'm excited and don't care how cold it is ... the Hedberg fans bring the heat. Not to belabor the point, but working with Mitch is always an adventure. And I love an adventure. Thanks to all the people in Cincinatti that bought my CD. It makes my life easier. See you on the road!

For those of you who caught the Ontario Improv shows last month with me, Mitch (Hedberg) and Lynn, thanks. The crowds were amazing and I sold tons of CD's. I am working on a better quality CD for the near future. But the one now is pretty good. I taped it at the Irvine Improv with Mitch. I am hoping to get back on the road with Mitch and Lynn ASAP. It is the most fun I've ever had as a stand up. I actually have seperation anxiety when I say goodbye to them! They are extremely cool people and I'm looking forward to getting back into the clubs with them. As soon as I hear, I'll let you guys know.

Lately show biz has felt like trying to break into prison. Big walls and barbed wire with me standing just outside, scratching my head. You would think I'd be used to it by now! I'm looking forward to Doc Ricketts in Monterey this month ... great gig, beautiful city and I usually get some hiking in while I'm there.

Thanks to everyone for their continued support. I'll write soon.

I did a spot at the Melrose Improv last night and lot's of people said they saw me on it. Daddy likes that! It's always nice to get on TV in any way possible. The folks at VH-1 were very complimentary to me after the taping in LA. I think the editing went on back east. Big ups to VH-1 for putting me on! Now I am working on a Tonight Show set. (showcase). It's four and a half minutes. I thought it went pretty well last night. The problem is, by the time I run the set a squillion times, I'm bored with it by show time. But it's business. Ross Mark and Bob Reed are good guys. This is my best chance in years to do the show. We'll see.

On New Years I'll be working with Mitch Hedberg at the Hollywood Improv. Openings for Mitch are about the best comedy experiences I've ever had. And New Years in Hollywood should be insane. Working with and hanging with him and Lynn (his puddin') is uniquely fun. I'm hoping to get more tour dates with him next year. I'm crossing my fingers. He's a freakin' genius!

Thanks for checking out my website. Stay well.

Randy